Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
