how can u be prego again
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
