I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'm really into asian looking animals
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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