Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
