He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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