You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
