2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
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i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
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Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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