At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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