how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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