The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
