Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
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stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
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I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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