i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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