Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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