You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
