thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
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