mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
