then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
