I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize