My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
