none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
