I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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