You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
