Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
