"it" just moved
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
