I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
