i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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