Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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