so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
