Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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