she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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