It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
