my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
