i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
