i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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