Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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