Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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