well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
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The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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