Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize