Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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