Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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