he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize