Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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