is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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