I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
