what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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