I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
