First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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