her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
