he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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