Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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