I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
