If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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