I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
