I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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