and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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