Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
