I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
