Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
