did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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