my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Still dying that you shit outside
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
