We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
